5 Secrets to Finding More Time for Yourself

You’re busy, I know. You’ve got a million things on the “To Do” list and never enough time to get them all done. How can you find more time for yourself? You wear all the hats – from project manager to teacher to scheduler and beyond. Oh, and that’s before we even start talking about your paying job! So, how can you possibly make time for yourself?? Well, you’re in luck because I happen to know!

You might relate to this

In my life, I have had a few different careers. The one I spent the most time in was a high-paced, high-stress, lots-of responsibility-and-time corporate accounting role. For the last half of that career, I was “the boss.” And, yes, there were perks: generous, steady paycheck, the feeling of importance from knowing people counted on you, the joy of seeing all the “I’s” dotted and “t’s” crossed at the end of each accounting cycle…but there were drawbacks, too. The biggest of which was a lack of time.

Now, if you know my story, you’ll know that I had a lot of physical ailments as a result of the chronic stress I was under (you can read more about that here). But that’s not what this article is about. This article is about time.

What did I miss out on by spending so much time at work? Well, there’s the obvious: I missed out on a lot of kids’ award ceremonies, performances, bedtime stories, and didn’t get to enjoy much of their early years. What was perhaps less obvious was that I was missing out on quality time with my husband, building real friendships, and supporting my body to be able to make it through all of the strain I was allowing it to be put under.

I realized I needed to make a change

It got so bad that I eventually left corporate and started my own CFO Consulting company and then, later, my health coaching business. But despite removing the obvious stressor (a thankless, demanding job), I still found myself out of time and not able to care for myself.

For many of us, this doesn’t seem like a big deal until our bodies make it a big deal. In other words, the body gets to the point where it can’t handle it anymore and we start to have adverse effects. It can start with “little” things like insomnia, joint pain, or headaches. But, if not addressed, can turn into chronic sleep deprivation, auto-immune issues, migraines or worse – cancer, heart disease, and a host of other diseases can be “triggered” by our lack of down-time.

So, how does one actually GET down-time? I mean, it’s not like we can create extra hours in the day, right?? Well, as you may have learned during your time on this planet, a big part of making something happen is deciding that it is a priority.
Below, I have listed the shifts I have made to change my life around. These are also the shifts I help my clients make in order to have the lives – and health – they truly desire. Because no one wakes up deciding they want to be sick with a debilitating ailment! But, until we decide that we don’t want it (and take steps to prevent it), we won’t be able to stop the trajectory.

5 Secrets to Find More Time for Yourself

1. Have a plan

I don’t know about you but nothing happens in my life unless I’ve decided it’s going to happen. For example, how does dinner end up on the table each night? Well, I’ve made a list, purchased the items, and decided when I’m going to prep or make everything. Our “me time” is the same: if we leave it to chance (“I’ll get a massage when I have an extra couple of hours”), we’ll find something else “more important” to fill the time slot. Sitting down each week and plotting out
what you’re going to do and when will make it more likely to get done.

2. Block out the calendar

You may have heard me talk about my morning practice. Each morning, I have a set amount of time at the same time each day when I do my meditation, journaling, inspirational reading, etc. No one can book an appointment with me at that time because I have blocked out my calendar. No one can disturb my practice because I have closed and locked the door. No one can call me because my phone is on do-not-distrurb mode. In short, I am unavailable to anyone but myself. THAT is the level of prioritization we’re talking about here. Getting to the point where you know how valuable taking care of yourself is that you set aside time for it several times per week.

3. Communicate

This is a big one I see in many of my clients. Here’s the thing: we put a lot of pressure on ourselves. Yes, you! I KNOW you hold yourself to a high standard – probably to a much higher standard than anyone else in your life does. And, because of that, we have a hard time giving ourselves a break. Both literally and figuratively. For many of my clients, having a conversation with their loving, supportive husband about taking a couple of hours “off” on a Sunday afternoon to do whatever they want to do isn’t the crux of the issue. Because these husbands are actually HAPPY that their wives are finally starting to see they need some time to relax! The crux of the issue is that, deep-down, these women are afraid to give it to themselves. They feel guilty, they don’t know what to do when left without an urgent task…in short, they have
forgotten what it’s like to enjoy “me time.” So, yes, communication is key – with those around us (who are probably relieved) but, above all, with ourselves.

4. Hold your boundaries

If you had expensive theatre or sporting event tickets (when these things were still allowed), would you be sure to make it to the event? I’ll bet you would! Short of a real emergency, you would ensure everything else you had going on was put aside so that you could attend. If you put the same level of priority on your self-care, it will certainly happen! If that means that you
need to book an appointment with a masseuse, yoga teacher, or friend to hold you accountable, then do it! Whatever it takes to get you in the habit of keeping your promises to yourself will be much more worthwhile than whatever “urgent” matter comes up right before you’re about to take your bubble bath.

5. Make it fun

How often do we get excited to do the laundry or the dishes? Well, unless you’re doing them the Mary Poppins way, I’m guessing you’re not thrilled at the prospect of getting to them each day/week! When it comes to our self-care, however, we want to make it enticing – something we love – so that there is an additional incentive to keeping our date with ourselves. What is something you love to do that you can’t wait to get started? It could be anything from creating a vegetable patch in your yard to starting a crafting project. Find whatever it is that lights you up and give yourself the time and space to enjoy it.

Wrapping it up

So how do you feel about making your health a priority? Would you rather enjoy the day-to-day, rather than feel like a hot mess? Because what I see happen is that we women run ourselves ragged until we crash. And that crash can be an illness that takes us out for days or weeks at a time. Wouldn’t it be better to support ourselves so that we can enjoy life and then use our days/weeks out for real vacations, instead?

Carving out “me time” to allow your body to reset and rejuvenate is key to your physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Giving yourself the time and space to get centered and grounded will yield tremendous results in your relationships, your attitude, and your efficiency. In fact, you may find that setting this time aside for yourself actually IMPROVES your ability to get things done – with ease! Set a goal, plan it out, make it happen. Pretend it’s an assignment: I order you to give yourself a break!

Let me know how it goes 🙂