How to Avoid Over Committing During the Holidays

Many of us have a love-hate relationship with the holidays: we love the festivities, the food, and the camaraderie but we dread the hustle-bustle craziness of it all. Is it even possible to ENJOY the holidays as an adult?? Why, yes, it is 🙂 You can avoid over committing this holiday season!

Here are my top tips for not just “getting through” another holiday season but learning how to avoid overcommitting so you can keep your sanity and find pleasure in them, again!

How to Avoid Over Committing During the Holidays (and keeping your sanity)!

Know Your Limits

The first step to avoid overcommitting is to know what you want to be committed to and how much time you would like to allot to each activity.

For example, let’s say you have a long list of things you usually take part in each year such as:

• The cookie swap
• The ugly sweater party
• Volunteering at the local homeless shelter
• Singing in the holiday choir
• Wrapping presents for a local club
• Your best friend’s holiday party
• Your other friend’s holiday party
• Another friend’s Christmas Tree Lane party…

And you usually find yourself strung out and exhausted after doing all of the above. The easy answer: cross some of these off the list. This year, it might be a little easier since many of us are social distancing. And, hey, that may serve as your “out” for big events: you just don’t feel comfortable being in large groups.

Whatever you choose to do, however, you do need to choose. Making a conscious choice ahead of time will give the hosts or organizations know that you will not be available this year so they don’t count on your participation. One final thought, here: pulling out a paper calendar (yes, it’s “old school” but hear me out) and physically plotting out your activities will give you a great visual representation of where you are over-stretched so you can dial it back.

Hold Your Boundaries

I’m not gonna lie: this is probably the hardest part. It starts with you giving people the “heads up” as to your plans, as listed above (i.e. sorry, I can’t get an ugly sweater in time!). And, yes, that can feel a little awkward or uncomfortable but let’s think of the big picture here: your sanity. Is the activity in question really so important that it trumps THAT?

And, then, it becomes sticking to what we decided we were going to do (or not do). Yes, I know, we tell ourselves all sorts of things like:

• It’s really not THAT much of a time commitment, I can fit it in
•  It means so much to Aunt Susie that I come over and see the first bloom of her amaryllis each year and I don’t mind making the 2-hour round-trip drive in the snow with chains at night
• The holidays only come once per year – I can sleep in January!

Do not be fooled: these are all ways we belittle our needs. Yes, belittle! Ladies, how long have we been fighting the get our needs heard by others so that we can have equal participation in all areas of life? Do we really want to take away that very voice from ourselves?? No, I’m not being dramatic. We women are GREAT at helping others but often neglect to help ourselves.

HOLD. YOUR. BOUNDARIES.

Be Flexible

Okay, so I’m talking to myself on this one, ladies. Because I am SOOOO guilty of thinking I can do a million things and planning on baking/cooking/making the most exquisite, complicated, or ornate foods/décor/homemade treats for everyone on my list (or for people who are visiting, might stop by, live across town and happen to need the latest creation dropped off)…Point being: if you find that you’ve bitten off more than you can chew, regroup. For EVERY party or dinner I’ve ever thrown, I’ve ended up “nixing” something (or several things) off the menu because I just didn’t have time.

And it was okay.

And nobody noticed. So avoid over committing when it’s not necessary.

You do not have to be Wonder Woman – in fact, you are already amazing without creating all this extra work for yourself! True friends will love you for YOU and not for all of the holiday-related tasks you can accomplish in the span of an Elf season.

Carve Out Time For YOU

Ah, yes, the Holiday Humbug. Do you “humbug” yourself? By that I mean, do you lavish love, praise, gifts, your time on everyone BUT you?

Well, my dear, that is a sure way to get burnt out this holiday season!

Because there is nothing more important than your health (and aforementioned sanity). Think about it: how much time can you give to people if you’re exhausted and cranky? And will they want to be around you anyway?

PLUS, if you run yourself down, you’re more likely to get sick and then you’ll REALLY be dragged down! Carving out “me time” – and holding your boundaries so you really do it, without interruption – is critical to your holiday-happiness success. If you need more help on how to find time, check out my recent article here on 5 Secrets to Finding More Time For Yourself.

And, that’s it! I have FAITH in your abilities to “get this done.” If it helps, think of it as a self-care assignment from me. You can tell your friends and family that “Claudine is making me do it!” I don’t mind being the bad guy, here. ‘Cuz it’s all for your good.

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Holiday Part Planning 101 

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