If you’ve been following me for a while, you may have noticed that Fall is my absolute favorite-est time of year! It’s not just the falling leaves, the crisp mornings, and the delicious baked goods that this season provides (though those don’t hurt!), it’s also because my birthday lies smack-dab in the middle of this glorious season. And I’m all about celebrating. I also find that birthdays are a good time for reflection: looking back on the learnings of the previous year to acknowledge what I did really well and what I could have done better. So, this year, here is a listing of the 5 things I know are true for my birthday.
1. It’s the little things.
I know it’s popular to say “don’t sweat the small stuff” and, although that’s true, I find that small things can make a big difference! In other words, I have learned to find comfort in the small pleasures. This has been especially important during the current year (2020) as the “big” things are not really an option (sorry, bucket-list trips!).
So, I’ve taken an indulgent pleasure in a warm cup of tea, the quiet of an early morning, or a foot rub. I have learned to appreciate the comfort of my family (mostly), enjoy not having to rush around to get everyone packed up to go somewhere on weekdays, and stop to smell the roses my husband brings in from the garden. This is one of the things I know are true for my birthday.
In short, I’m being more mindful and practicing gratitude for the things I have, rather than on focusing in on what has been lost.
2. A 5-minute meditation can save the day!
I have a temper. It’s a Francois trait. We can get a bit fiery at times: quick to flame but then quickly extinguished.
And now that I have kids, I have a lot of triggers. Because kids can be – how shall we say – selective listeners? And I HATE having to repeat myself. 10 times. An hour. It drives me NUTS!
But I realized I had a choice: to get angry, ruin my children for life, and make the household tense all the time OR learn ways to communicate in a more constructive manner.
More easily said than done – and I know it! Let’s just say, it’s (I’m) a work-in-progress. The days I give myself the gift of meditation (even if it’s just 5 minutes), I am much less likely to lose my shizzle. Things just bounce off, like I’m rubber. Or Teflon.
It’s not that I don’t care, it’s more that my threshold for getting angry has changed. I’m more patient, happier, more resilient. It’s like magic!
So whether I meditate in the morning, take several deep breaths before responding, or take a walk outside to let off some steam and release the amped-up feelings and thoughts, I am learning to give myself tools that will make me (and those around me) happier.
Because giving myself the time and space to put myself first for these snippets of time each day benefits me AND everyone around me.
3. Good food is a MUST!
Can I get an “AMEN”?? To say I love food would be a gross understatement. I spend much of my time thinking about food: what to make for the next meal, what to make this weekend, what I want to post in the Facebook Group about it, what cookbooks I’m going to create…
It’s on my mind on the regular.
But it took me a looooooong time (way too long, in fact) to realize that I was much happier, had more energy, and better skin when I focused on finding foods that bring me long-term joy: foods that feed me physically, mentally, and spiritually rather than settling for the quick-sugar-high followed by the crashing low.
Once I started to notice how what I was eating was affecting me (headaches, stomach cramps, afternoon slumps), those foods just didn’t seem as palatable anymore. In short, they just weren’t “worth it.”
But I still love FLAVOR!! And I still love delicious baked goods coming out to the oven. So, I improvised. I experimented. And I started to evolve.
And NOW, I eat things that taste amazing AND are good for me! Because I’ve figured out that those things are not mutually exclusive. Fresh, naturally colorful foods are packed with nutrients that help my body to THRIVE. This is the most important thing I know is true.
AND, they taste fantastic! Eating a ripe-off-the-vine tomato is nothing like an orange, mealy generic grocery store version. And having a juicy peach from my tree is a world apart from one that was picked green so that it could sit on the shelf for a week before making it into my cart.
Finding the “sweet spot” to satisfy my foodie desires while supporting my body has made my life infinitely more enjoyable. Because, in my world, food is happiness.
4. I am accountable only to me.
I am a recovering people-pleaser and perfectionist (geeze, this is turning into a confessional!). But it’s true. I spent most of my life trying to get the “right” answers, do the “right” things, and have the “right” life.
And it sucked.
Trying so hard to be the exact person everyone wanted me to be was frustrating, exhausting and impossible.
As is human nature, I had to hit a “wall” before I could to admit these things to myself and start to work towards changing them. I had to get chronic migraines, leaky gut, miss my kids’ younger years almost entirely, and have a mental breakdown before I realized there was a program.
I know.
But I thought being ridiculously busy, accomplished, and over-leveraged was the thing to do! Isn’t that what society keeps telling us?!
Well, come to find out, “society” doesn’t live in my body or my house every day and didn’t have to deal with the repercussions of the damage I was doing to myself.
I had to get to the point where I made peace with an unfinished “to do” list (it’s not like anyone is looking over my shoulder to quantify how many of those things are checked off!) and learn to be more concerned about what supportive thing I could do for myself each day.
Because I am accountable to me.
5. “No” is a complete sentence.
Boundaries. Ugh – the WORST, right?
Not the boundaries, I mean, but holding oneself to them – it’s hard. You know how I talked about being a people-pleaser and perfectionist…? Well, what if I someone needed something from me during a time I had set aside for self-care? Or sleep? Or a
massage?
What if I already had a full plate but someone asked me to volunteer for their cause, perform a lengthy task, or babysit their pregnant parakeet? The answer, my friend, is “no.”
Not, “No, but…” Not, “Maybe I can figure out how…” And definitely not, “Of course, I can…”! “No” is a complete sentence.
If I have set up my day/week/month to accomplish certain tasks that are important to me (and a “task” can be anything from work stuff to a bubble bath), I need to ensure I can get them done. If not, I get cranky, irritable, resentful…and nobody wants that.
So, learning how to say “no” and hold firm has been something I am still learning to do. Every day it gets a little easier. And every day I feel better for getting my priorities done.
These are the things I know are true for my birthday. What about you? Do you resonate with some or all of them?
You are an amazing woman and role model. Happy Birthday month to you!!
Thank you, Michelle!